One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
