I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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