i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
