So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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