i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
