sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
