How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
