she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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