She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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