I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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