Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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