Don't you send me to vm
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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