Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize