I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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