they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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