you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
