Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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