We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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