Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
