playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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