If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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