IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
