I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
