ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
