We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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