Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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