Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
