Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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