It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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