the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
