Yo dont text me then not text me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
