The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So here I am, sexting at work.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
