if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
