just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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