Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
