My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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