i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
