if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
