Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
