Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
