Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
