I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
