I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
