she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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