Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
