I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
