Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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