Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
