He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
