Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
