i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
