she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
