Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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