My brain says no but my pants say off.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
