Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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