Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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