If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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