you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
