How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
